Amazing what can happen in a year. I’m always surprised in what can happen in a day. Even more profound is what you feel inside can dramatically change your outlook on life permanently.
Sitting by the window in Bacoor, Cavite I feel like one of those Gauguin paintings but set in the warmth of the Philippines. The view from my window looks like a tropical paradise. Why did it take me so long to come here?
The events of last year propelled me to where I am today and I am grateful for that. Sometimes you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel when negative things are happening to you and I can safely say (a year later) the light never felt so good. I feel for once that I’m finally coming into my own and that feels peaceful. Some people learn most of their lessons in life early, I learned my lessons in life late. I had to accept that some things in life were not meant for me and that included friends, places I was living, family members, boyfriends, line of work, and ways of thinking. When I was younger I used to get upset at life’s oppositions but now I sit back and gratefully thank the universe for whatever comes my way/departs my way.
I’m very grateful for my life because I’ve been very blessed. I’ve also been fortunate enough to wipe the fog from my eyes and I appreciate the blessings everyday. I’m grateful for everyone I’ve met in my life whether they left or stayed. I learned important lessons from each person and I had to learn how to deal with pain, rejection, and loss. I used to carry it around but now I learned to just let it go. You never learn from success, happiness, love… you learn from the failures in life, the rejection, the loss of love, the loss of loved ones, your inner pain… your mistakes are a great chance to reinvent yourself, to change yourself for the better. The obstacles are just opportunities in disguise Gordon Parks once said. Jay-Z said he never learned from Success. Maya Angelou told Oprah that once people show you who they are, believe them. Larry Clark says there are bigger fish to fry. Quentin Tarantino and Sofia Coppola are always focusing on the positive. The roadblocks in life are meant to make you stronger, you have to find the opportunities within to grow, evolve. My mother always said that champions always get back up… I remember her telling me that when I was 12 years old in Texas. Its stayed with me since… Just keep doing better in life even if its in baby steps. You’ll eventually crawl, walk, run and make significant progress! I am a stronger, wiser version of myself from last year and I hope by this time next year that I’m even stronger and wiser…
On this “Manila” morning, I reflect on my past year. For all that know me personally, I apologize if I’ve been out of touch for the past months, I hope you understand… This year was off to a great start and its going to finish off with a BANG! 2013 is what I’ve been waiting for and for all the people that have been following my projects throughout the years, its time. I had to learn that things happen in God’s time for a reason… (and for the best, your own good) ya’ll will understand when things come to fruition.